1.22.2014

Cliff Notes Part 1 Pre-proposal by Rachel

Many people have been intrigued by our proposal ... having read that we proposed to each other, utterly curious about the whys and hows.


I think one important aspect of our relationship is that we have been and will try to be open with our decisions (when appropriate). We’ll share our story and why we chose the things we did, and we will continue to try to be open with these parts of ourselves. It is important to keep in mind that we don’t think we are doing things “the right way,” it’s just our way. A way that makes sense to usfuture-barehls.


As a wedding photographer, I see so many weddings. Handfuls of maybe over-used under-analyzed traditions, as well as new, innovative ideas. Along with it, I also hear a multitude of proposal stories. From the time I was a young girl up until the last year or two, the notion of a proposal (probably gained mostly from movies) was always such a surprise for the girl. There are often stories of utter shock and complete unknowingness (everyone has seen a few youtube proposals right? or read an article that just melted you?). I think my favorite genre of proposal stories are the ones where the one being proposed to thought they were being broken up with because of their partner’s weird behavior that evening.


Often, I would hear about how the girl picked out her own ring, or had a friend email the husband-to-be her dream bling. One of my married friends shared that her and her now husband chose not to talk about their future together until they were engaged, so as not to build things on land that wasn’t yet theirs. I appreciated these honest and candid stories, that belong to people I know and love.


In Adam’s and my relationship, we are known to be opposites in a few ways. One of which being our speed regarding ... everything. I’m quick to make decisions, his decisions take time (I’ll share about the first months of our relationship later). I know what I want pretty quickly, he’s thoughtful in deciding what he wants. Our strengths are also known to be our weaknesses. We know this difference will quite possibly be a recurring issue in our life together, so we’ve created some vocabulary that we can pull out and use to let the other person know they need to hurry up or slow down. Being the food lovers that we are, we settled for a culinary code language of sorts. “Warm up the chili, Adam” means I need him to hurry up. If he needs me to slow down he says, “Chill out and eat some watermelon, Rach.”


Though we haven’t actually used these silly sentences more than a handful of times, the reality is that we are aware of our differences, and that helps.


When it came to the proposal, I didn’t have my heart set on anything in particular. No need for flash mobs, or a scavenger hunt (though those things can be super fun). I really wanted to be a part of it, so long before it happened, I told Adam that I wanted to propose to him too. We were committed to each other and knew that we wanted to grow old together. Although there were certain things that I was concerned about early in our relationship (Will he be able to tell me if I’ve hurt him? Does he actually enjoy the people I like to be surrounded by?), answers eventually came to those areas of uncertainty. I no longer had any questions. I feel confident that I will never meet another person that loves me as well as this person, my favorite human.


We wanted the proposal to be a memory. A pivotal moment. Preferably in one of the beautiful places we were traveling to either over Christmas or in February. Somewhere a bit more remarkable than the kitchen (where I have asked him to marry me before, like after trying his amazing curry yogurt and sweet potatoes).


Feel like I'm leaving you on a cliff? Not yet, but stay tuned for part II coming soon, where you can follow along our mountainous journey.


Taken by a lady we met along the side of the road at this beautiful pitstop on our way to Yellow Springs in July.

Examples of food that probably earned Adam a proposal in the kitchen.

1.04.2014

the becoming

With the way that memories are stored, shared, and delivered these days, we thought it appropriate to start cataloguing our thoughts along the way (to becoming Barehls). This blog is not merely about wedding planning. More so, it is about an entire life's journey, as we set off to start our own family. After all, nobody's been a Barehl before; we've got a lot to figure out.

We hope this record of our story is encouraging to those who join us for the ride, and simply for ourselves to look back and remember the moments when we're old and gray.

ipone photo by sonja lyon at discovery park in seattle, washington.